Oga at the Top

This dialogue only flash fiction is written in Nigerian pidgin English. It’s stereotypical of the corruption that goes on in many aspects of life of people in many works of life in the society. It’s a comical view of a group of corrupt police officers, but it happens in many places and at many levels.

Nigeria is a place where everyone wants to make it, and they make it anyhow that they think they can. Change can only come when we take a hard honest look at ourselves and quit pointing fingers. Are you sure, you are not one of the people practicing what happens in the story below?

 

Oga At The Top.

 

“Garuba!”

“Yes sir?”

“Where you dey?”

“I dey here sir.”

“You dey there, come say you dey here. Na my front you bi so?”

“No vex sir.”

“I say where you dey?”

“I dey come sir.”

“You still dey come? You no go waka come here now!”

“I don reach sir.”

“Na wetin you dey do sef?”

“I dey write report sir.”

“You dey write report? You don report for me finish?”

“Na the report I dey write so.”

“You alright? Na that report I dey ask for? Na that report I wan chop?”

“No vex sir.”

“Make you min yourself o!”

“I dey min am small, small oga.”

“You alright so? Na me you dey use left side of mouth dey reply?”

“No vex sir.”

“You this common criminal.”

“Abeg sir. No vex sir.”

“Make you leave that side, make you leave that side. So, Na how much una bring come today?”

“Na only eight hundred naira oga.”

“Only eight hundred?”

“Na so oga, the kin people wey they drive moto for Lagos today sef…..”

“Dat one no concern me o! Wey the moni?”

“Na here sir.”

” One…two…three…We go share am equal, equal. I go take two hundred, you go take one hundred….”

“Ah, one hundred naira sir….”

“E small?”

“Ha!”

“Wetin be ha?”

“Oga…no vex sir, but, na who go come take the remain five hundred?”

“Hmnnn, see this johnny just come. Abi you don forget oga at the top?”

“Oga at the top?”

“Abeg make you drop money, comot from my front. Go call Sule come.”

 

********

“Sule!”

“Wetin?”

“Oga dey call you.”

“For wetin?”

“He say make you come declare.”

“The money wey we collect?”

“No, the report wey we write. Sidon there. Look, If una get half sense, make una go dash oga everything wey you collect.”

“Na so? Na how much you come give am?”

“That one no concern you! Two thousand still dey for ma pocket.”

“Garuba! Hmn.”

“Na so o! Oya make you go, come. Make I hear wetin you go talk.”

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